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Know that your black will never be like her black. We forget that as black women our struggles are much more alike than we admit. In college, people are much more mature and educated.

The Secret Life of a Light-Skinned African-American Girl

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Privileges that darker women would not be able to acquire and I should be grateful for that. We should be proud that there is such much diversity among us. We progress and prosper while at the same time facing adversity, from being told we aren't quite enough of this or too much of that.

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They were programmed to believe that my black was beautiful and their's wasn't. We had gotten close, well, as close as two year-olds could be. Not to mention, black men sometimes don't make it any better.

It wasn't their fault rather what they were taught, maybe by their parents and then from their grandparents and then their grandparent's parents. Colorism is another thing that was not created but forced upon us. She came to camp one day and told me that her father said we couldn't be friends anymore. But, being told by people that I wasn't black or I wasn't black enough took a different toll on me.

Hate has been so imbedded in us, blacks hate other blacks for being black. According to him I was the worst kind of nigger because I couldn't pick a side. She said she exclusively dated black men because they treated her better than any other type of man, including other Puerto Rican men who weren't into her blacker features. He said you're the sneakiest kind of nigger because you never know what side you're on.

Her melanin glowed to me and at a time when some girls my age wanted a boyfriend or bigger breasts, I wanted dark skin like my mother's. My skin had became a sheet of just utter hate on my body that I wanted to tear off. All the acne scars and all the hair.

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Despite these things and the various shades that we may come in we are all still black and are the similar in essence. There wasn't blatant colorism but it still existed subtly.

No one women's struggle is less important than another one's. It's always the other way around. She's one of the few like that though, I've met many who are pressed and distressed if the daughter doesn't look more like their color. Your black is your black for a reason. Look at the variety of shades of black women you see everyday with admiration and not spite.

Now that I'm married I'm totally obsessed with my future babies. My other siblings are all on the caramel side of things, but I was never made to feel lesser because of my color. You were coated in the most beautiful color so that you can be you. We're so caught up on these preconceived notions of each other, we fail to realize the big picture. When it comes down to it we all share bloodlines with greats like Fanny Lou Hamer, Ella Baker, Dorothy Heights and Harriet Tubman, and each day we stand in the merit of their work.

My own mother is fair skinned, but her mother, backdating income support claim my grandmother is dark skinned and she delighted in dark skinned me because I look like her mom. My sister's husband is almost as dark as mine and my sister is the same tone as me very similar to the woman in your pic actually but their baby came out lighter than both of them.

Her beauty does not take away from your own. That's the great thing about black women, we all glow in different shades like crystallized stars across the darkest sky. Yeah the hubs has absolutely no admixture.